Overwhelmed new mums just say HELP!
Being a new mum for some doesn’t come naturally, I think this is part of the reason why PND is so rife in our society. We learn mothering from our mothers, social groups and peers often its passed down a wisdom that is inheritaed or so we think.
Just like how we bond with our baby how our mother bonded with us? its a feeling undiscribable like falling in over and over again every day and if as a new mum you didn’t feel that thats ok to, this will or should come over time you will still have that desire to protect your infant, feed him/her and nurture them its in built natural, nature as such .. just like pro -creating our desire to pass on our gentics its part of our make up.
I do however think women see it painted a pretty picture almost glamerous maybe by friends or show’s watched on tv then measure there abilities to mother against this ..big mistake as most shows don’t let you behind the scenes where real life is taking place.
Genuinely I don’t think women know what to expect after birth pregnancy seems to be Birth focused mainly (then comes life) for some being a mum may look natural and easy when for others its actually really tough, hard and demanding, It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less then the mum that feels confident and happy it just means you perhaps didn’t realise the demands and time it would take to learn your baby adjust to your new life that’s all. Or maybe you thought you would have more support at home and find it challenging juggling all the balls. no one is to blame here you are a work in progress, just like life.
Social pressure to be perfect or should I say “your imaginary social pressure to be perfect” is your own worst enemy who give’s a BLEEP what any one said’s, how you look, if your hairs done ,who cares if you go out and don’t have make up on? your priorities have changed. all a new mum needs to focus on is my baby is happy and fed? thats priority number ONE. you can throw that hair straightener out also those heels and tiny hand bags right now, you have no use for them and thats ok..what shows do you watch now? I bet its family shows on what other families do? maybe cooking shows and mothering shows this is normal, we learn by watching others.
Trust me when I say for those of you who don’t feel a strong bond in the first 5 weeks “you love your baby “and its coming you might need to work a little harder and for those of you that it comes really natural and bonding was not a problem there will be other things you will find challenging.
Being a mamma is not “easy” you give up so much of your life, who you use to be, your friend circles change its huge for most of the part I’m sure for most of the time your happily and willing to change and adapt ..its also not easy feeling tired maybe frustrated cranky even over whelmed, its ok to think this is to much work ..Its even ok to say I need a night off!
ARRHHH GIVE ME A BREAK .
So much pressure we put on our selves. ladies your human and its only natural to feel what ever your feeling. Be it bad or good, Always be honest with your self and your partner PND when it grabs a hold is a huge mountain to climb and you shouldn’t be isolating your self, your emotions and feelings from others, bottling them up creates bigger problem like resentment, hate even, don’t try to pretending it will pass, Honestly speaking from experience if your not “feeling the love for this new role you play “Reach out to a family member a friend or a professional, don’t struggle please you don’t have to be brave being a new mum is HUGE! often its hard, boring yes your day’s are filled with feeding, washing cleaning, cooking and not using any to none of the skills you have used all your life ( like your education, work skills ) but I guarantee the time you give your self and the time you spend with your little one will be one that stay’s with you forever, bonding can take time you are adjusting to your new life and its a process that can take 3 to 6 months for some new mums, reach out ill say t again, reach out and keep connected to friends family your network so you don’t get depressed lonely or sad.
I want you to know your baby loves you wether your hair is done wether your washed with or with out make up organised or disorgainised you are learning and so are they 🙂
you are your babies world, no one will do this job better, they are a part of you and you are forever a part of them! I promise its an adjustment a shift in awareness and understanding in how to deal with your new responcabilities be patient with your self and your infant.
Enjoy your baby every day they change grow and need you so much … mothering is a learnt thing for some and its not a sign of weakness to reach out it’s a sign of love and strength to want to be better for your baby.
If you need help and a safe place to chat.
For PND support or any questions about why you feel the way you do please call Andi Cambell on from Blossom home help 01432381964 or 0414406814.